September 27, 2014:  This will be the last entry I make on this blog for Nanette.  When we first started this blog, we were trying to decide what to name it.  Her brother Robert and cousin Belle and I were talking with Melissa Smith who had volunteered to manage the blog and we needed to give it a name.  We finally decided to name it “Nanette’s Miracle.”  At the time we all believed there would be a miracle and Nanette would be able to win the battle ahead and live to be 100 years old.  In the absence of that specific miracle, there were hundreds of other ones that she experienced in the last year.  One day I will write them down for her family and friends to read.  In lieu of that list today, I will write this one last blog entry.

After the doctors realized that the second round of a different chemo was not working, they decided to try a third which they knew to be less effective.  Nanette thought it was the “Hail Mary” of the treatments.  When she lost strength in her left side, could no longer stand on her own, and had increased headaches, Nanette made the decision to discontinue the ineffective chemo pills and Avastin infusions and start on Hospice.  On Wednesday, September 17 she had her first Hospice visit.   She continued to welcome visits and phone calls and loved all the friends and family who came.  She was still talking on Tuesday, September 23 but said very little the following day which was Wednesday.  She was not in any severe pain and Sergio made every effort to keep her comfortable.  He played her favorite music throughout the day and that seemed to keep her calm.  Thursday morningshe was quiet and sleeping.  At 12:25 pm she passed away.  Sergio was holding her in his arms and Jared was at her side holding her hand.  Sergio’s parents, his brother Jose and sister Rosie and I were all in the room.   A friend Amy Bohman who worked at the girls’ school immediately brought them home and Tyler was already on his way from BYU and Nanette’s dad arrived shortly thereafter. 

The day before she died which was September 24, we were all talking about that date because we thought it was the 10^thanniversary of Kaylen, her oldest daughter’s death.  However, shortly before Nanette died the next day, Sergio and I were looking at a picture of Nanette a year ago at Kaylen’s gravesite and looked at the inscription on the headstone and the date was September 25, 2004.  We had been mistaken about the date so it was on the 10^th anniversary of Kaylen’s passing that Nanette passed away.  We know that if Nanette had still been speaking, she would have corrected us right away because she never forgot a name or date.  We don’t think it was a coincidence.

One of the highlights of Nanette’s last few weeks was her son Nick who is serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Ecuador came home for a four-day visit.  Her brother Tony and his family came from California to visit at the same time.  Peter Ventura, a neighbor and good friend, took pictures of our family and Nanette was able to have her entire family surround her for several days.

Nanette never lost hope or determination, and never gave in to despair.   She was cheerful and uncomplaining the entire time.   Sergio and her children were her whole world and yet she made room to include friends and extended family into her heart and life.  She was a loyal friend, a good neighbor, and a champion for the underdog or lonely.  Her one wish was to not lose the ability to communicate with all of us and she did so until the last day of her life.

All of you who have followed this blog and written, visited, and loved her made her life better.  Not one thing anyone ever did for her went unnoticed or unappreciated.  She made what amends she needed to, she expressed her thanks and love to everyone she could, and she was at peace with her life.  She did not want to leave but she was not afraid.  Christ said, “Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid.”  Her testimony of Jesus Christ and His plan for her and for us sustained her through every day.  Her courage and strength sustained us in this journey.  She knew where she was going and knew she would be with her family again in eternity.

Elder Russel M. Nelson, an Apostle in our Church, said the following: “Separation evokes pains of sorrow and shock among those left behind.  The hurt is real.   The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.  In the Doctrine and Covenants 42:45 it says, “Thou shalt live together in love insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.”  And we weep for the loss of Nanette.

Elder Nelson gave this advice to those of us left behind.  “Take time to bless others, to be kinder, more compassionate, quicker to thank and slower to scold, more generous in sharing and more gracious in caring.”  Nanette would have given the same advice.

This will be the last blog entry but never our last thought of Nanette.  She will live in our hearts and lives forever and ever.  I hope we can cherish each moment in our lives as a blessing from God.  I know Nanette did.

September 9, 2014:  Nanette's health has changed very quickly in the last two weeks.  She was losing strength in the left side of her body and finding it difficult to stand and walk.  On Monday, September 1 she was weak and she had a bad headache.  Sergio took her to the University of Utah hospital and they immediately did an MRI.  They reported the results to her oncologist at Huntsman and they determined that the new chemo treatment was not working.  The tumor has continued to grow and had, in fact, herniated, causing more swelling in the brain.  Again, surgery and radiation are not options at this point.  She was transferred to Huntsman Cancer Center and then was released to come home the next day.  The plan now is to once again change the chemo pill to a third choice in hopes of stalling the growth and swelling.  She will continue with the Avastin infusions every other week and had one yesterday at Daybreak Huntsman facility.  Two weeks ago she was walking in to the center for her infusion and yesterday she could not walk or stand.  She is confined to a wheelchair and very limited use of a walker.  However, she is alert and visiting with friends and family and receiving telephone calls, which she loves.

We have received help in hundreds of ways and her days are filled with visits from many friends and family.  Sergio's brother Jose and his wife Debbie came immediately and are a tremendous help.  I have moved back to Nanette and Sergio's home and will stay indefinitely.  Nanette's father has come from California and her brother Tony and wife and kids arrived yesterday, and her brother Robert is close by.  Jared and Shayla have been a constant presence and help, Tyler and his girlfriend Veronica come from Provo as often as possible and the twins never leave Nanette's presence  except to go to school (with great reluctance).  Sergio's family are in contact with us every day and ready to come from California at a moment's notice.  Nanette and Sergio's Ward and Stake have "stepped back up to the plate" again and everyone is doing everything they can to help and comfort and love them.  We have had meals brought in, flowers, cards, telephone calls and many visits.  They have all contributed to keeping Nanette's spirits up.  She is still concerned about other people and events in their lives, trying to stay connected and involved.  She has remained cheerful and grateful for every day.  Her faith is evident in all her conversations and actions and "despair" is not a part of her life.  Her love for her family and friends is at the core of her being.  All of your love and attention, prayers, and concern for her has never gone unappreciated or unrecognized.  

Elder David S. Baxter said "The smallest acts of kindness can make a world of difference in our lives.  They can dispel darkness with a bright flame.  I am convinced that in each of our lives are friends, neighbors and Church leaders who genuinely care for us and want to brighten our lives; we just have to let them."  

Thank you all for brightening Nanette's life.